We are sure that you enjoyed your "Mother's Day" experience. Perhaps you were the one to enjoy breakfast in bed (burnt toast), flowers (dandelions picked from the front yard), a movie and dinner out (where you know your children will eat...McDonald's). Even still, you got to enjoy the privilege of having precious time with your family.
Let's talk though about a remarkable woman. A singular woman that could carry the title "THE FIRST MOTHER" of 'em all. A woman that could say in all honesty, "I never had the option of an epidural!!!!!". Eve, the wife of Adam was quite an extraordinary woman of her day. What am I saying?? She WAS the only woman of her day!
Let's just join with Eve in the moments of the birth of her first son Cain. Her water had broken, contractions were in full swing, she's at 10 centimeters and 98% effaced, her eyes were bulging out of her head and she's saying, "Adam, how could you do this to me? Having this kid in the Garden of Eden would have been so much better!!" Now since we don't know what language she was speaking, she might have also said,
"وأنت تسير لدفع لهذا اليوم كنت وضعت لفة البيض الخاص في بلدي فطيرة باللحم!" or even..."
あなたは私のワンタンのあなたの卵のロールを入れて一日の支払をするつもりだ!"...which we all
know means, "you're gonna pay for the day you put your egg roll in my wonton!"
Now she is feeling that moment when the RING OF FIRE is lit and the substitutions for profanity start to kick in. You know like, PRAISE THE LORD and Thou has prepared a birthing table for me in the presence of my...ADAM!!! So finally after all that, Cain is born and I can see Eve wearing a plaque around her neck saying "I AM THE FIRST HUMAN MOTHER" and no one would ever, EVER be able to say otherwise.
So although we'll never be able to have such an illustrious title, the Queen of Comedy- Lisa Belluomini and I have the honor of saying to you, "Happy Mother's Day"! Because no matter how, when or where you received your miracle, your special distinction will never change.
Booty's and Blessings,
The Queen of Comedy, Lisa Belluomini
&
The First Lady of Comedy, DeAnn Alaine
